77. Growing Older Is Not a Flaw
June 2025 Age Without Apology Month
Growing Older is Not a Flaw, but last Saturday’s post had two: it was post 77 not 78 and the talented guest writer deserves her full name: Nahida Ahmed. Apologies for the omissions! This is the corrected version.
Poetry With Me
I will be reading my poetry on Wednesday 16 July 7 -10pm at Wordsmithery, Start Yard, 108 Church St, Birkenhead. CH41 5JA (by Birkenhead Priory) Please come along! https://start-yard.com
Welcome to Julie Lamin - Write With Me Substack and my weekly posts sharing reflections on writers and writing in relation to significant dates in the year. Write With Me posts give you tips, ideas and inspiration for your own creative and non-fiction writing, whatever your age, stage or state of your page, followed by Writing Challenges. Support my writing by upgrading to a paid subscription with free writing tutorials and my book, Beyond the Volcano, while stocks last.
I have vast experience of teaching and tutoring GCSE and A level students and mentoring for writers. Contact: julie@julielaminauthor.com
May-June are Julie Lamin Write With Me Creative Writing months - thank you to the writers already published. Please keep sending your words!
I was not aware that it was Age Without Apology Month until student Nahida got in touch to say: “I took inspiration from the Maya Angelou poem On Ageing we looked at in our lesson to write this piece for June 2025 Age Without Apology Month.”
Although this special month is already 21 today, I’m sure you’ll appreciate Nahida’s opinion piece, Growing Older Is Not a Flaw.
Poet Maya Angelou. 1993 President Clinton address.
Photo courtesy of Clinton Presidential Library
Growing Older Is Not a Flaw
by Nahida Ahmed
Ageing is not a mistake. It’s not something to hide, reverse, or apologise for. It’s human. It’s natural. And it’s beautiful.
Yet in today’s world, we’re being told — louder than ever — that youth is the only kind of beauty that matters. From TV ads to TikTok tutorials, the message is clear: if you want to be accepted, you’d better stay looking young. Wrinkles? Bad. Grey hair? Hide it. Smile lines? Fix them before they show up.
It’s no wonder so many people feel pressure to change their appearance. But the pressure isn’t just on adults anymore, it’s reaching children. Yes, children.
There are seven-year-olds using retinol, a strong skincare product originally made for adults with acne or ageing skin. Girls as young as ten are buying anti-wrinkle creams. Skin routines meant for thirty-year-olds are now trending among primary school kids. Why? Because they’re growing up in a world where normal skin, pores, and lines are seen as problems. That’s not just unrealistic, it’s dangerous.
We’re creating a generation that’s afraid to age before they’ve even started living.
And social media isn’t helping. Filters smooth out every crease, shrink noses, and lift cheekbones. They make it easy to forget what real faces even look like. The more people use filters, the more disconnected they feel from their own reflection. Young people start believing that beauty means looking artificial: poreless, ageless, frozen. And if they don’t match that look, they think they’re “ugly” or “behind.”
But here's the truth: every wrinkle, every line, every stretch mark, freckle and grey hair all tell a story. It shows you’ve laughed, cried, grown, overcome, learned. And none of that is shameful. That’s what makes you real. That’s what makes you you.
Ageing is not something to fear; it’s something to honour. You become stronger. You become more honest. You care less about what people think and more about what you think. That’s power.
And no, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to care for yourself. Botox, skincare, makeup — they’re all valid choices. But they should be choices, not expectations. You should never feel like you have to erase yourself to be accepted. Because guess what? There is no age limit on being beautiful. There is no expiration date on being valuable.
This June, during Age Without Apology Month, let’s remind each other — and the younger generation — that it’s okay to grow older. It’s okay to change. You don’t need to freeze time to be worth something.
A tribute to Maya Angelou
To finish, let’s remember the words of the incredible Maya Angelou, who captured the truth of self-love better than anyone in her poem
Phenomenal Woman
It’s in the reach of my arms.
The span of my hips.
The stride of my step.
The curl of my lips.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48985/phenomenal-woman
Maya Angelou from And Still I Rise (1978)
Whether you’re 17 or 70
With fine lines or freckles
Filter-free, Botox-free, full of life
Phenomenal.
Without apology.
Many thanks for the wise advice, Nahida!
Age Without Apology Month: let it be a way of life, not just a month!
Writing Challenge
Whether you’re 17 or 70, make a list of all that is valuable about the age you are. Write a poem celebrating each item on your list, or arrange the words in the list into an order that reads like a poem!
Try this structure: what you value + why. For example, this could be mine:
Waking up to the light not the alarm clock Having time to dream about the unplanned day ahead
I agree that the obsession with looking young is pathetic and disturbing but there's nothing great about getting old - if you're working class you face poverty, third rate health care, pain, being patronised by liberals and congratulated because you're not dead yet - & if you've manged to save for your old age it'll all be taken back in utility bills and if you need it, Care....so basically stop romanticising it & instead fight for justice for grumpy old gits like me & stop telling me that I'm blessed - I'm not fucking blessed, I'm angry.